DVD review: KONGA (1961)

Returning from Uganda, a year after he was considered dead when his plane crashed, Dr Charles Decker (Michael Gough) brings with him a small chimpanzee, Konga (with no trouble with customs nor quarantine) which he is to start his experiments. He uses a serum he found in the jungle which mutates plant life into being carnivorous giant plants. He injects Konga who instantly begins to grow, and when the good Doctor begins to be looked down upon at this college for his experiments, he uses the now gigantic Konga to exact his evil doing.

Micheal Gough was one of those actors who could make even the most ridiculous dialogue (such as the nonsense he has to spout here) sound earnest, and as such what could be a complete piece of tripe is transformed into a camp classic. It doesn't matter (or maybe it's because) the gorilla costume is shoddy, nor that the optical effects have a matte line an inch thick, the mutated plants are merely inflatables the quaintness of the affair makes for an enjoyable experience.

For the younger viewers, raised on modern effects in the likes of Peter Jackson's King Kong, will no doubt have little time for the japes on display here, and even fans of the original Kong and the work of the late Ray Harryhausen, will balk at the ineptitude of the effects, especially when you consider the work done in Japan on the Godzilla films at the time, using a similar man-in-a-costume style.

The rest of the cast are just about serviceable, with Jess Conrad as the possessive student Bob being the best of the bunch. Conrad became a heart-throb as a singer, but also appeared in Peter Walker's slasher The Flesh and Blood Show, and the brilliant Cool It Carol (both 1972) and a brief self-mocking appearance at the end of The Great Rock n' Roll Swindle (1979). Margo Johns plays long suffering scorned housekeeper and Claire Gordon the object of both Bob and the Doctor's affections. Gough, a respected and fabulous actor, made a niche for himself in these low budget, campy films (the nadir being Horror Hospital) where he effortlessly reads through the parts, staying the right side of over the top, but is completely compelling nonetheless.

 

By the time Konga has grown to uncontrollable proportions, along with even dodgier effects the film has given up trying to be credible. The police chief's line "There's a huge monster gorilla that's constantly growing to outlandish proportions loose in the streets", said with a straight face says it all..

The new DVD release from Network is the latest in their line of British films, and looks better than I remember seeing it on TV (back in the days when they used to show films like this on prime time BBC2) and is a welcome addition to any cult sci-fi/horror or kitsch fan's collection.
7 out of 10

 

Retro review: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978)

Almost universally derided since it's 1978 release, Robert Stigwood's screen version of the famous Beatles album has become a minor cult film in it's own right. With the recent death of yet another Bee Gee, leaving only bearded falsetto wonder Barry to carry the can, I thought it was time to re-visit the film, which I had not seen since it's UK TV premiere sometime in the early to mid 80s. At that time, my only interest in the film was Alice Cooper and Aerosmith (this was before they had got back together and cleaned up their act, and virtually no one in the UK gave a monkeys about them) When I remembered one of my favourite comedians is in it - Frankie Howerd and genre legend Donald Pleasence, my keenness to re-watch was increased.

  
The film's story (such as it is) centres around the lovely town of Heartland, USA, where the eponymous band leader and his group have been playing their way through most of America's history, helping stop wars, overcoming the depression, etc. When the good Sgt. dies, the instruments are left to the town - while they exist there, the town will always have peace and tranquility. The music must continue, though, and the Henderson brothers (The Bee Gees) team up with Pepper's grandson, Billy Shears (Peter Frampton) to keep the spirit alive. Aided by Billy's more reckless brother, Dougie (Paul Nicholas) they head out for fame and fortune, signing a contract with sleazy mogul B.D. Brockhurst (Pleasence).

Things go bad in Heartland when the instruments are stolen by Mean Mr Mustard (Howerd) under the orders of FVB - The Future Villain Band (Aerosmith). They get one instrument, Father Sun (Cooper) gets one, and the other goes to Maxwell (Steve Martin). Heartland in ruins, it's leader (and the narrator) Mr Kite (George Burns) appeals for the band to track them down and return them to their rightful place.

I suppose the big thing people have against the film is the re-arrangement of the Beatles songs. Now, I'm certainly not as precious about them, because some of the treatments here are quite good (special note going to Aerosmith's groove through 'Come Together', and Alice's sinister, Zappa-esque 'Because'). Beatle producer George Martin worked on the soundtrack, and since he was always considered the 'fifth Beatle' that's good enough endorsement for me. Stigwood had produced a stageshow of the songs (and those from Abbey Road which are included here too), and while he had the rights to use them decided to make the film. He had been involved with the Ken Russell film version of The Who's Tommy, along with the other hits Saturday Night Fever and Grease you can imagine why he thought the Beatles music would be a shoe-in at the box office. Sadly, it was not to be. The film flopped big time, and like I mentioned, it is - if ever mentioned at all -  usually badly thought of.

Now, re-watching it, I'm surprised to say, I  actually quite enjoyed it. Sure, some of the songs don't lend themselves to the interpretation they are given. Burn's rendition of 'Fixin' A Hole' is a train wreck, and a lot of the lyrics are interpreted literally. Steve Martin's 'Maxwell's Silver Hammer' is as annoying as he is (never really liked him. There I said it), but Howerd's turn as Mustard is brilliant. All his standard traits are present and he even gets a oooooo in during 'When I'm 64'. His servant, Brute is played by 7ft Carel Struycken in his first role, later to be in Twin Peaks and the remake of The Addams Family, who suffers from acromegaly, the same disease the great Rondo Hatton suffered from.
Director Michael Schultz had previous had a hit with the disco tinged Car Wash and later made a few films with Richard Pryor, Greased Lightning and Carbon Copy, before heading to TV and directing shows as varied as Bruce Campbell vehicle The Adventures of Brisco County Jr, Charmed and Ally McBeal and recently did some episodes of Chuck.

The film is colourful, the songs are great (although they may be enjoyed more if, like me, you're not the biggest or purest Beatles fan), and there's a great spot the star section at the end for the reprise. (If you're under 40 I imagine you'd struggle for a lot of them though). Just like Tommy, I think this has probably improved with age. You can enjoy the camp without having to worry about taking it too seriously.
Go on, give it a go. You never know, you might like it.
6 out of 10

Producer Robert Stigwood (left, centre row) in the finale

Retro review: Doctor Death: Seeker of Souls (1973)

Laura Sanders (Jo Morrow) is dying from injuries sustained in an (unseen) car crash, caused by her husband, Fred (Barry Coe). Wracked by grief, a probably more than a little remorse, he begs her to come back "I'll come back" a voice over (presumably in his head) tells him. As he wakes in bed later on, he finds Laura there, stroking his leg. Delighted, he moves in to hold her and her faces turns to a skeleton. Roll the credits.....

Not too disturbed by this vision, he becomes obsessed with finding a way to bring his dead love back. Visiting a fake seance, 'The society of the dead' a group of hooded figures who have brought a wild looking old man's wife back - as bone and dust, granted, but he has her back. He finally stumbles on a newspaper ad promising "control your own re-incarnation". Tana (Florence Marly), an old mystic trying desperately to keep her looks, takes him to a theatre to see a performance by Doctor Death (John Considine), who promises to bring the body of a beautiful girl he has on stage back to life.A member of the audience, brought up to prove she's dead. This is a brilliant cameo from the former Stooge, Moe Howard, still recognisable, and in his last role. "would you confirm she is dead" "why certainly" he says in true Stooge fashion. Not taking the Doctor's stethoscope, he chooses to place his ear to the girls breast "I couldn't feel.. er hear a thing!"

Another body is brought on stage, that of a burns victim, living every day in agony and mutilated. The Doctor proposes to end her suffering, and using his methods, transplant her soul into the dead girl, and thus give her life. Being the flamboyant Doc he is, he does in true Grand Guignol cutting her in half in a magician's way, aided by his not at all glamorous assistant, the bulking Thor (Leon Askin) who looks like an undead version of Paul (Hi De Hi) Shane.

Horrified, Fred wants nothing to do with the Doc, until his need for his wife becomes too much. He goes back to see the Doc and, helpfully, he tells Fred the origin of his power in a sepia tinted flashback. $50,000 later, the Doc is attempting to give Laura life. Only the soul he tries to give won't go. "I don't know what happened - This has never happened to me before!" Bet you say that to all the girls.
The bad Doctor then becomes obsessed with getting a soul to take to Laura's body, even against Fred's wishes.
"Enter that body!!"

An obscure little curiosity from the early 70s, Doctor Death has a 70s TV movie feel to it, in it's music and look, but pumps up the gore considerably. The acting is solid, and there are some nice set pieces and visual flourishes. The DVD print is of superb quality, if only all 70s flicks looked this good! Towards the end of the film, the Doc wears a polar neck and looks the spitting image of a classic Action Man. Coincidently, the animated Doc on the DVD menu has eagle eyes. It's a fun film, but not a lost classic.
6 out of 10.

David E Kelley's cancelled Wonder Woman TV pilot (2011)

A while back, when it was announced that Wonder Woman would return to the TV screens, this time written by David E. Kelley, the man behind Ally McBeal and Boston Legal, the fans waited to pick it all apart. The first photos of the costume had people screaming heresy from the roof tops. And when eventually the TV companies decided to pass on the pilot and subsequent series, the rumours abounded that the studios had suffered a knee jerk reaction from the negative vibes they were getting from the fans of the comic.
I don't really follow DC comics much, I rarely bought them, even Batman and Superman, and the ones I did tended to be Lobo. I was always more of a Marvel man. That said, I did watch the 70s Wonder Woman, with Lynda Carter spinning and trying desperately to keep her generous glands in that costume.
So when the new show was shit canned, the interest from everyone suddenly picked up again. Had the NBC got it wrong? Thanks to the wonderful thing called the internet, we can now see for our selves (if you don't know where to look, you don't deserve to see it). Much like the infamous Roger Corman version of The Fantastic Four (1994) we get to see what we weren't meant to. (at least this time its not on 10th generation VHS)
The 2011 Wonder Woman is a much different beast to the 1975 version, we are put straight into the action with WW chasing down a baddie who is running through the streets with super human speed. It turns out he is a drug pusher for a pharmaceutical company who are creating a drug to aid athletes and boost strength. The company is lead by Veronica Cale (Elizabeth Hurley).
Wonder Woman (and her alter ego Diana Prince) is played by Adrianne Palicki, no stranger to the DC Universe, having had parts in Smallville and the TV movie of Aquaman (2007). She is now the figure head (literally) of a large company that sells WW merchandise and dolls. We sit in on a board meeting about the new action figure and Diane complains that the tits are too big (her words, not mine). The guy running the merchandise company is Henry Johns (Carl Elwes, from the Saw movies), who looks a little uncomfortable with the part.
In her homelife, Diana is lonely, with her cat Sylvester for company sitting down watching The Notebook and putting off doing her Facebook. There was someone in her past, but she chose the crime fighting over him.
To be fair, it's not too bad, there's plenty of action, and even with the unfinished CGI effects (the screener copy circulating has on screen notes "insert police cars", "darken pants" etc, and visible wires pulling the actors being punched and kicked), it's easy to see that it would have been fun to watch if not the "event tv" that they'd have liked. To be honest, there's a lot more shows out there that look a lot worse that get serveral series.It's also quite dark and violent in some scenes, WW even kills! You don't see that often in superhero adaptations!
Worth tracking down if you're interested, but you can only wonder (sigh) how the full series would have panned out if it was allowed one. 6 out of 10