Review: The Devil's Carnival (2012)

Three characters, all whom have recently died in unfortunate circumstances all find themselves in the titular carnival, run, as the name suggests, by Lucifer himself. Suicide victim, John (Sean Patrick Flannery), driven to his act by the loss of his son, Miss Merrywood (Briana Evigan) is a thief and was gunned down  in her trailer park home by police, Tamara (Jessica Lowndes) was killed by her abusive boyfriend.

They each arrive with an envelope containing a ticket for entrance to the carnival, and along the way each meet with one of the sideshow entertainers and fall for the temptations laid out for them in a series of interpretations of Aesop's Fables. The Devil himself (the film's writer, Terence Zdunich) is paying close attention all the time.

From the director (Darren Lynn Bousman) and team that brought us Repo - The Genetic Opera (2008), this is yet again another musical piece, which manages to fit quite a lot into its swift 55 minute running time. The  colourful cyberpunk burlesque look of this particular carnival is a joy to watch, peppered, as it is, with lots of familiar faces, if you can recognise them under the impressive makeup. Cult musician Emilie Autumn, Bill Moseley, Spy Kids' Alexa Vega, Slipknot's clown, Shawn Crahan and Five Finger Death Punch's Ivan Moody all put in a appearance, alongside the legendary Paul Sorvino as a doll making God.

The morality tales are not laboured so that it becomes preachy; this is Hell, after all, but are enough to keep the interest and provide a backdrop for the musical set pieces. 

While the songs may not be as instantly catchy as those in Repo, they are serviceable and are worth dipping back into where they will soon burrow into your mind. It is the visuals, however, that will strike you straight away, and despite being shot on one set, give the impression of a much larger space, and the sleazy carnie atmosphere drips from the screen.

As yet, there is no UK release on the cards, which is a shame, hopefully that will be corrected at some point this year. The film has been on a roadshow style tour in the US, with the director and writer doing Q & A sessions, and general circus atmosphere. The US DVD can be purchased from the website. A sequel, subtitled The Librarian is in development.
8 out of 10

Review: Rock Of Ages (2012)

Based on the musical currently wowing the West End (starring Justin Lee Collins) and Broadway comes this big screen bombardment of 80s rock.
The story is simple - a small town girl, Sherrie (Julianne Hough) up sticks from Tulsa to the bright lights of LA in the hope of making it as a singer. She meets city boy Drew (Diego Boneta) who is also a singer, who gets her a job at the 'in' bar on Sunset Strip, The Bourbon Lounge. This is owned by Alec Baldwin's Dennis Dupree, who is struggling to keep the place going and is banking on the farewell gig from rock legends Arsenal, whose singer, Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) is going solo. The wife (Catherine Zeta Jones) of the local mayor (Bryan Cranston) has made it her mission to close the Bourbon and rid LA of the curse of rock.
Full disclosure here, I've not seen the play, so can't compare the film. From what I've heard it's more tongue in cheek and humourous. The film however, does take itself quite seriously so when it is funny, or trying to be, it doesn't always come off. The music is brilliant, without doubt. But then I would say that as this is the sort of music I listened to back then, and still do now. I doubt however, a lot of the target audience for this film (and probably the play too) would be too familiar with the likes of Night Ranger, Warrant and Twisted Sister. They may know the songs through horrid X Factor type rip offs (yes of course you're going to get Don't Stop Believing, but how many watching know anything else Journey did? They probably don't even equate another song aired, Any Way You Want It to them). Despite my reservations, the film wasn't that bad, even if it did feel a little too much like a rock version of High School Musical. Director Adam Shankman works the magic he did transferring the Hairspray musical to the screen, although I will only really ever acknowledge the John Waters original. He also worked as choreographer on the Buffy episode, Once More With Feeling, and you do get that flare here and there, but you don't feel the songs are as integrated into the script as well as Joss Whedon did.

The characterisations are all very stereotyped and over the top; there are lots of 'devil's horns' and sticking out of tongues - but if I'm being honest, that can be a fair representation of a lot of the wannabe bands of the time (some even do it today). Because this doesn't set out to spoof the times or genre, which This Is Spinal Tap did all too perfectly, those who don't have a connection to the songs or the time may feel a little let out, or just not 'get it'. The stage version was made as a celebration of the music, much in the same way Mamma Mia was, and this adaptation carries that spirit too, thankfully. There is some great commentary on the shifting musical tastes, however, when dodgy manager Paul Gill (Paul Giamatti) signs up young Drew and convinces him to join a boy band. Musically, though it hits most of the right notes, and the song mash-ups actually work really well - Juke Box Hero and I Love Rock n' Roll are perfect together! They missed a trick though by not having the Def Leppard song Rock of Ages in there somewhere (Pour Some Sugar On Me gets an airing during one of the concert sections though)
The two young leads are good enough, but are far too clean cut and polished to be completely believable in the parts. Cruise is entertaining as the rock god, channeling all the trappings of the iconic stars, the temperament of Axl Rose, the swagger and attitude of Jim Morrison, and Kid Rock's coat (although, of course Kid would be a star much later than the 80s, more on that sort of thing later..). The on stage persona is how you can imagine him playing Lestat if they'd have continued filming the Anne Rice books instead of combining the second with Queen of the Damned. Alec Baldwin is great as the club's owner, once you get over the jarring image of him with long hair and playing air guitar. The BIG weak spot for the film is Russell Brand. He is truly terrible. His accent seemed to go from Birmingham to Welsh to his normal 'cheeky chappie' style, and he is just NOT funny. Even if he had the funniest lines in the world, he would ruin them. All of these, however are upstaged by Jaxx's ever present right hand man, a baboon called Hey Man.

Now, onto pedant's corner. First of all, take a look at the poster. Alec Baldwin there, looking all rock n' roll in a fantastic KISS t-shirt. Great stuff. Except THAT particular shirt didn't see the light of day until the band re-united with the original members - in 1996. Not good for a film set in 1987. He does wear it in the film, too so it's not just an advertising faux pas. KISS, of course were massive in the States in the 70s, and then were having their second wind success wise in the mid 80s (there is - correctly - a large poster for Crazy Nights in the Tower Records store they go to in the film). You would argue, then that this is an old, faded (as that's how it looks) vintage shirt? You could, but you'd be very wrong. Yep, I know my KISS. That design never existed 'back in the day'. Also, in the very same Tower Records, playing in the background is one of the few original artists songs on the soundtrack. Namely, I Remember You by Skid Row. A song which did not get released until 1989. OK, that's a small point but I needed to get it out of my system.
On a plus note, it was nice to spot a few familiar faces in the crowd scene at the end. A nice nod to those who actually DO love this type of music and lived (and not only survived, but still love) the big hair metal scene of the late 80s. So keep your eyes peeled for Skid Row's former vocalist, Sebastian Bach, pop princess Debbie Gibson - who pops up now and again in films like Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus and Kevin Cronin, better known as the voice and keys in REO Speedwagon.
Maybe I'm getting soft after enjoying Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band but for all it's faults, I didn't hate this. I don't know if I'll ever watch it again, though.
6 out 10

Retro review: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978)

Almost universally derided since it's 1978 release, Robert Stigwood's screen version of the famous Beatles album has become a minor cult film in it's own right. With the recent death of yet another Bee Gee, leaving only bearded falsetto wonder Barry to carry the can, I thought it was time to re-visit the film, which I had not seen since it's UK TV premiere sometime in the early to mid 80s. At that time, my only interest in the film was Alice Cooper and Aerosmith (this was before they had got back together and cleaned up their act, and virtually no one in the UK gave a monkeys about them) When I remembered one of my favourite comedians is in it - Frankie Howerd and genre legend Donald Pleasence, my keenness to re-watch was increased.

  
The film's story (such as it is) centres around the lovely town of Heartland, USA, where the eponymous band leader and his group have been playing their way through most of America's history, helping stop wars, overcoming the depression, etc. When the good Sgt. dies, the instruments are left to the town - while they exist there, the town will always have peace and tranquility. The music must continue, though, and the Henderson brothers (The Bee Gees) team up with Pepper's grandson, Billy Shears (Peter Frampton) to keep the spirit alive. Aided by Billy's more reckless brother, Dougie (Paul Nicholas) they head out for fame and fortune, signing a contract with sleazy mogul B.D. Brockhurst (Pleasence).

Things go bad in Heartland when the instruments are stolen by Mean Mr Mustard (Howerd) under the orders of FVB - The Future Villain Band (Aerosmith). They get one instrument, Father Sun (Cooper) gets one, and the other goes to Maxwell (Steve Martin). Heartland in ruins, it's leader (and the narrator) Mr Kite (George Burns) appeals for the band to track them down and return them to their rightful place.

I suppose the big thing people have against the film is the re-arrangement of the Beatles songs. Now, I'm certainly not as precious about them, because some of the treatments here are quite good (special note going to Aerosmith's groove through 'Come Together', and Alice's sinister, Zappa-esque 'Because'). Beatle producer George Martin worked on the soundtrack, and since he was always considered the 'fifth Beatle' that's good enough endorsement for me. Stigwood had produced a stageshow of the songs (and those from Abbey Road which are included here too), and while he had the rights to use them decided to make the film. He had been involved with the Ken Russell film version of The Who's Tommy, along with the other hits Saturday Night Fever and Grease you can imagine why he thought the Beatles music would be a shoe-in at the box office. Sadly, it was not to be. The film flopped big time, and like I mentioned, it is - if ever mentioned at all -  usually badly thought of.

Now, re-watching it, I'm surprised to say, I  actually quite enjoyed it. Sure, some of the songs don't lend themselves to the interpretation they are given. Burn's rendition of 'Fixin' A Hole' is a train wreck, and a lot of the lyrics are interpreted literally. Steve Martin's 'Maxwell's Silver Hammer' is as annoying as he is (never really liked him. There I said it), but Howerd's turn as Mustard is brilliant. All his standard traits are present and he even gets a oooooo in during 'When I'm 64'. His servant, Brute is played by 7ft Carel Struycken in his first role, later to be in Twin Peaks and the remake of The Addams Family, who suffers from acromegaly, the same disease the great Rondo Hatton suffered from.
Director Michael Schultz had previous had a hit with the disco tinged Car Wash and later made a few films with Richard Pryor, Greased Lightning and Carbon Copy, before heading to TV and directing shows as varied as Bruce Campbell vehicle The Adventures of Brisco County Jr, Charmed and Ally McBeal and recently did some episodes of Chuck.

The film is colourful, the songs are great (although they may be enjoyed more if, like me, you're not the biggest or purest Beatles fan), and there's a great spot the star section at the end for the reprise. (If you're under 40 I imagine you'd struggle for a lot of them though). Just like Tommy, I think this has probably improved with age. You can enjoy the camp without having to worry about taking it too seriously.
Go on, give it a go. You never know, you might like it.
6 out of 10

Producer Robert Stigwood (left, centre row) in the finale

Retro review: Chatterbox (1977) talking you know what movie!

So, where do you start when you have a film based around a woman who has a talking vagina? Let's try..

Penelope Pittman (Candice Rialson) rushes to a psychiatrist when she finds one night her lady bits have started talking. Not only talking, but criticising her soon to be ex-partner's prowess. Seems he (Perry Bullington) wasn't too happy being mocked by her box. So, off to the doctors she goes, but after finding out the pussy can sing,  rather than prescribe some intense psychotherapy, Dr Pearl (Larry Gelman) decides he will become Virginia's (as she likes to be known) doctor-agent, and gets her out of her hairdressing job and sets her out into the world of showbiz, game shows and bad musical numbers with Penelope begrudgingly along for the ride.

There's not much more to the film really, and even at just over 70mins it does seem to drag, the gags not being funny and the songs being, well just plain awful (although you'll have that "Wang Dang Doodle" song in your head for hours after!). I lost count of the times the sound boom was in shot! The final moments save the film, however.

This is a soft core remake of the infamous French porno La Sexe Qui Parle (Pussy Talk) and as such, there is no shots of Virginia, but plenty of topless action. On the plus side, while not particularly funny, it has moments that entertain, and they somehow managed to get Rip Taylor to appear as the gay hairdresser (stereotyping in the 70s? Never!), but he doesn't really travel well to the UK and  I found he grated rather than was great.

Worth seeking out for fans (or fannies) of 70s kitsch and oddities, but does run out of steam far too quick.
3 out of 10.
UPDATE: Chatterbox has just been re-issued on DVD in the US as part of a 4-film double disc set "Cult Movie Marathon"

Retro review: Vile Pervert - The Musical (2008)

Now, this one seems to have passed under my radar until this week. Vile Pervert is a home made documentary/drama/musical satire by Jonathan King. Maybe it's apt that it should come to my attention at this current time when the UK newspaper industry (red tops especially) is in meltdown and is being as demonised as they have done to so many others in the past. Karma? I'm sure JK would agree.
Whatever your opinion on JK as a person you can't deny that he has had major part in the British music industry, as a performer, writer, producer and much more. When I was growing up, he was a familiar face and name, his TV shows Entertainment USA and No Limits were required viewing, especially for someone like myself who liked to listen to things that would not get radio airplay outside the Friday Rock Show on Radio One.
Before I start with the film, I would like to point out as a disclaimer that I'm a male, in my early 40s, very straight, and if anything have a preference for older women. So at no time did I relate to JK's interests in that way. 
Now, JK had a very public trial and humiliation for allegedly abusing boys who had come to visit him at his home in the early 80s. All these allegations came many years after the events and, as we find out in this frank and very enlightening film, had no proof whatsoever to back them up.

Which brings me to the film. Shot entirely on digital video and interspersed with  musical numbers set to cut and paste videos, it is King's side of the story. An honest account of what he is. Along the way, we meet fictionalised versions of the key characters into his story,  all very thinly veiled that it wouldn't take too much to work out who they are meant to be. Waxie Maxie, a PR agent nicknamed "The Silver Stoat" who will take on anybody's story providing they say they are telling the truth, and there's money to be had. The "victims", some of which had not even met King, but then what did that matter? The police, not too bothered with facts as long as they get a result for the figures. Flame Mitchell, the ex-editor of a red top newspaper who had previously employed King as a columnist for many years, and God, the narrator of the sordid story. I say sordid, but it's not in the way the papers' would have it. The sordidness comes from the way the facts were changed, and the whole scaremongering and hysteria that comes along with anything to do with "perverts" and celebrity misdemeanours. It's worth noting that what King was accused of, and imprisoned for, involves "children" of 15, (some proved to actually older than that when the alleged events happened) and were willing participants. Even the judge, in his summing up, noted that no violence was used, and that incidents stopped when if it was clear that it wasn't wanted. None of which was reported of course. In fact there's so many twists and turns that come out of the documentary that you'd think it was a Hollywood thriller.
And then we have the music. Some of the old hits are included, Everyone's Gone To The Moon and It's Good News Week are both strangely prophetic. It's the new songs that stand out though. Taken out of context, you would think they were terrible and would outrage the public decency. But no, they all make a point. You just have to have the balls enough to think about them. Something I'm sure most people wouldn't bother doing.
There is the the wonderful Wilde About Boys, sung by King dressed as Oscar Wilde with its catchy refrain of "there's nothing wrong with buggering boys" Whaaaat.. f*cking disgusting! String him up I say.. Yep, just the sort of red rag that would have the estates lighting their torches and going en-mass to lynch the nearest paediatrician. In context, what the song is actually saying is there's nothing wrong as long as BOTH sides are compliant. Who would argue with that? It even says "as long as their not too young" and borrows from the famous quote from Wilde's cleaning woman during his trial about "as long as it's not in the street and worrying the horses".

It's worth noting when thinking how disgusting it might be for someone in their 30s to be interested in anyone of 15 or so, (the proper name is ephebophilia) that in many of the countries that YOU, the mob minded hate breed go on holiday every year the age of consent is lower than in the UK. In Spain, for example, it is 13.
The whole thing was very enlightening, and shows the press up just as much as the current scandals. While I have my own personal opinions of certain high profile accusations in the past (the other "King of pop" I have no doubt that something iffy was going on) when presented with the discrepancies that King provides it's hard not to see that something is rotten in the system.
The only warning I'd give is that you might see a bit more of JK than you'd like. There's an image I could have done without! 
In the end King presents his case with humour, and as in his final word, is not interested in making you like him, but just make you think. That it certainly does. And man, can he write a catchy tune.... 8 out of 10.

You can download the whole film - for FREE - from his website All You Tube footage included in this item are owned by Mr King.