Blu-Ray review: Massage Parlor Murders! (1973)

Now here's a hidden gem, unearthed by the good folk at Vinegar Syndrome (who brought out the fantastic Blu-ray "The Lost Films of Herschell Gordon Lewis" which showcased his forgotten sexploitation works. This film, an often forgotten piece of grindhouse cinema, comes to you in the HD format (region free, so safe to import) with a DVD version and a very informative booklet, too. If only the major companies would spend this much time and effort on a release which, let's be frank, will have very limited audience appeal.

 

 The film follows Detectives Rizzoti (George Spencer) and O'Mara (John Moser) as they try and track down a homicidal maniac who is mutilating and killing the local masseuses. O'Mara begins a relationship with Gwen (Sandra Peasbody, The Last House on the Left), the roommate of the first victim and a masseuse also - although one who doesn't do extras, as she is keen to point out. The only clue they have is a medallion the victims wear, which leads them to oddball "meta-physician" Brother Theodore ( Theodore Gottlieb, playing "himself", whom you might remember as Uncle Reuben in The 'Burbs, and as Captain Carl Clitoris in obscure Jaws porn spoof Gums). They must race against time, stopping only to have a beer, before the killer strikes again!

 

While I would like to gush at how wonderful the film is considering its rarity, it would be unfair to give the impression that it some lost Citizen Kane of the grindhouse. The acting is, for the most part, stilted, it's badly written and has almost no editing. Almost every scene is either mid or long shot, the only close ups we get cut in are very brief, and jarring. Even for a short film (just under 80mins for the original '73 version) it meanders and drags when there's no-one getting killed or chased. Which brings us to the good points. The murders are graphic, and actually well shot, even though you can see the victims breathe postmortem.

There's one amazing chase scene, after O'Mara has been to a swimming pool orgy with new beau Gwen (although we only find out why is there by watching the extras on the disc), in which the cop runs after the suspect in just a tiny towel - which stays miraculously in place, hijacks a taxi, and gives chase. While not as thrilling as The French Connection, the chase does take in similar locations, before coming to an amusing end. While on the subject of locations, it's fabulous to see the authentic 42nd Street cinemas and nightlife, including marquees advertising films such as Blood of Dracula's Castle). These sequences were obviously shot on the fly, guerrilla style as there's plenty of shots of the public either looking straight into the lens or turning to watch the actors.

 

Keep an eye open, also for a young Beverly Bonner (Duane Bradley's prostitute friend Casey in Basket Case) as a masseuse, and George Dzundza (The Deer Hunter, Basic Instinct) as "Mr Creepy" the punter and credited as assistant director.

Co-director Alex Stevens (who by all accounts directed the majority of the action scenes) was a stuntman, and worked on the aforementioned Gene Hackman film, as well as being the hapless chef who was forever falling down stairs carrying varying amounts of cake in Sesame Street, and played the Werewolf in TV's Dark Shadows.

The film was re-released onto the drive-in circuit as Massage Parlor Hookers, with a trailer (included on the disc) which makes the film out to be more of a sex romp than thriller, and there's no reference whatsoever to any of the girls being murdered! This version was also missing a six minute pre-credits sequence in which Anne Gaybis (Deep Jaws) tempts a punter, Irving (the co-director Chester Fox in an uncredited role) to part with more and more money for her favours. The re-release version is on this disc, but it actually is just the main film, starting at chapter two and as such doesn't contain the alternate title.

The disc also contains seven minutes of out-takes, mostly from the pool orgy scene (including much more nudity, with one male extra standing rather proud, so to speak), which are non-essential but nice to have.
The film has probably been forgotten in time for a reason, but that's not to say it isn't worth checking out, especially if you enjoy 70s sleaze.

Vinegar Syndrome's next Blu-ray release, the fabulous 1971 film The Telephone Book will be reviewed on its release. Full marks for Vinegar Syndrome, no matter how bad the films are their releases have been stellar so far.
6 out of 10

Retro Review: Julie Darling (aka Daughter of Death, 1983)

Young Julie (Isabelle Mejias) loves her daddy. A little too much, unfortunately. They spend lots of time together, mostly hunting, and Julie, it seems, is quite a crack shot. After a string of fall outs with her mother (Cindy Girling) which culminates with her setting the teen's pet snake loose, Julie has a strop and puts her headphones on and locks her door. This coincides with her mom getting brutally attacked and raped by the local delivery boy she asked to help get rid of the pet. Just about hearing her screams in the nick of time, she grabs her rifle (every girl should have one) and aims it at her mom's assailant. Dawdling a little too long, and suddenly mom is dead, her head smashed against the wooden floor. Realising she now has her Father (Anthony Franciosa, Tenebre) to herself, she allows the assailant to make his escape.

Father and daughter adapt to live alone, the blossoming teen taking advantage of having the grieving father to herself, even going so far as to consoling themselves by sharing a bed. As time goes on, father  Harold meets a new woman, Susan (the marvelous Sybil Danning) who moves in along with her son. Julie isn't happy with this arrangement, but puts up with it until a chance comes that she must take. Playing hide and seek while the folks are away, the boy hides in the refrigerator that is conveniently lying around their garden, and Julie shuts the door on him. When the parents return, they find him just in the nick of time, and drop the bombshell that they have married. Susan has her suspicions about Julie, and has it out with her in a fantastic scene acted out over a game of chess. Julie must hatch a bigger plan to oust the pair and have daddy all to herself again.

This early 80s piece of nastiness comes (with the "help" of co-writer Maurice Smith) from Paul Nicholas, the director who brought us the best WIP flick, Chained Heat (1983). Although it is a thoroughly entertaining piece of sleaze, there are a few moments that are quite troubling. The homicidal child routine has been done before, many times, and better than this. The troubling moment comes when Julie awakes to the sound of her father and his new wife making love. She opens the door slightly to peek inside, and then imagines herself in the throes of passion with him instead. It's one thing having incest hinted at, or just under the radar, but to go all out and show it takes some balls as a film maker! I'm guessing Mejias was older than her character when she played this, as there is some nudity involved, and the film has not been impounded. The real problem with having this in the story, however is that is never mentioned, or hinted at again. Similarly, Susan has a tense heart to heart with Julie over the game of chess. Basically telling her that she knows she is trying to get rid of her and her son (who we don't see again after he's saved from the fridge) . Yet, a scene or two later, she asks the young girl to help steady a ladder she's working on, right at the top of some stairs! Talk about trust. Talk about a missed opportunity for Julie!  Although there are flaws - some of the younger actors are abysmal - it is a quite effect exploitation film, with plenty of nudity and well put together scenes of violence. The ending is fantastic, so I won't ruin it.
THE UK VERSION ANOMALY

I picked this up for £4 on a UK DVD release by Elstree Hill. They have, of course, got a reputation of putting out shoddy and awful prints on their DVDs, and Julie Darling is no exception. It's probably sourced from a VHS copy, full frame, not even pan and scan. The opening titles are actually "Ulie Darlin" and it's quite muddy and dark. There is a Code Red US release, but it's OOP and costs a lot more than this (although I wouldn't mind hearing the commentaries, as there are one for each of the two main actresses). The back of the box does warn "some quality may have been lost during the transferring process". No kidding. At least it's not as bad as some of their other releases. The real interesting (for want of a better word) thing about the UK release, is it has a PG rating. Considering what I have already said about the subject matter, the fact that there's plenty of violence, nudity (although no front bottoms, sadly) and one "F" word, I was surprised to say the least. After doing a check on the BBFC website, which has a great database search facility, I found not only had Elstree Hill not put the film through the board to get the PG certificate, but the film has NEVER been rated in the UK, making this release completely illegal. I'm pretty sure it would have had a pre-cert VHS release, but it was never rated for cinema or home viewing. Buy it now, kids before they get wise.

Apart from all that, it's a good, solid piece of trash cinema and Sybil Danning's boobs are always worth a look, ain't they? (No disrespect meant, as she is brilliant in this)
6 out of 10

Review: The Shadow Of Death (2012)

Becoming lost in the woods after heading out to 'score some weed', three house mates -  sensible Debra (Corinna Jane), computer geek Jamie (Jane West) and annoying stoner Nancy (Sophia Disgrace) - and their wise cracking, loser friend Dan (Daniel Carter-Hope) unwittingly become prey to a madman doing away with people in increasingly inventive ways. Their only hope may well come from a wanna be cop, the self styled Super Special Officer Cop Craven (Dan Bone) of the Super Secret Police Force. Let's just hope they don't rely on him too much though...

While it may not sound the most original of subjects, Director Gav Chuckie Steel manages to weave an interesting and fun take on the standard tropes, without resorting to copycat or parody.

The over saturated look gives it a grindhouse feel, without having to go as far as some have to force that. (it doesn't go over the top with fake film scratches and there's no missing reels here, folks!)

The Shadow of Death is a no budget film. IMDB says it cost £250. From what you see on screen, I wouldn't have believed it. Both the practical make up FX (there's some effective gory moments) and the inventive use of camera angles and sound are much better than you'd see in films with a much larger budget; you know the ones that would turn up on late night screenings on The Horror Channel, or straight to DVD. The acting is above the standard you'd expect in a film at this level too. While I found a lot of the characters annoying (I really hate people preoccupied with drugs) by the end I had warmed to them, and there are several funny moments.

The film is peppered with film references, from the subtle (Cannibal Holocaust) to the obvious (naming the pub The Slaughtered Lamb, Evil Dead), and while these are fun, they don't take over the film. I did get a feel of The Wicker Man in there too, especially with the use of music.

It is hoped the film will get into a few of the horror festivals held around the country later in the year, and it certainly is well worth checking out. It could easily work as a calling card to the industry for Gav Steel, and I hope he does well in the future. You can find out more about the film at the website
UPDATE: You can now view the film in full, for free at Youtube. Thank you Gav! 

8 out of 10

American Grindhouse (2010)

An new documentary on the still in vogue genre of "grindhouse" Over the past few years a few films have come out in the forced 'style' of the grindhouse film, kick started by the Tarrantino/Rodriguez film, which was a brilliant idea, with it's fake trailers and missing reels, but was not a big hit with the cinema paying audience. (hence the release of the two films separately). More and more films are having the style applied, some very good (Hobo With  A Shotgun) and some horrendously bad (the Norwegian I Spit On Your Grave rip off Hora).
A collection of talking heads and film clips that benefits from being a little more in depth than some others I've seen and takes us from the dawn of cinema to the 'usual suspects' of the 70s classics and beyond.

With contributions from two of my favourite directors, John Landis and Joe Dante. American Grindhouse is easy to watch, and very informative. Narrated by Robert (Jackie Brown) Forster in a dry 'obviously just reading it' tone but the input from the academics and directors more than makes up for it. People like Fred Olen Ray, David (Last House) Hess, William (Maniac - also behind Blue Underground DVD) Lustig, Jack (Spider Baby) Hill, the wonderful HG Lewis, blacksploitation star Fred Williamson and in what was probably his last interview before his death in 2009, Ilsa director Don Edmonds, amongst others. The winner of 'tache of the doc goes to the wonderful Ted V. Mikels although Landis' beard always entertains.

One particular section intercuts the shower scene from Psycho with the bath scene in Blood Feast, to show the similarity the two movies, no matter how much of a difference in quality there was. There's plenty to learn, even if you've seen other 'midnight movie' type documentaries, and the DVD is packed full of extras in the shape of trailers and stills galleries. In fact there's so much I haven't gone through them all yet. Its also a great documentary to add films to your shopping list of must see movies! There were at least a dozen I hadn't seen that I must track down!!

Don't be afraid! It's only Don Edmonds director of the Isla films

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Uncle Russ at work.

Very highly recommended. It's available on Region 1 DVD, but also in a double pack with another good documentary Nightmares In Red White And Blue.  
9 out of 10