Blu-ray review: The Telephone Book (1971)

Following their release of Massage Parlor Murders!, the good people at Vinegar Syndrome have come up trumps again with their new Blu-ray release of obscure 1971 film The Telephone Book.

Alice (Sarah Kennedy) is exercising in the nude when she receives an obscene phone call, which happens to be the best obscene call ever, prompting her to seek out the man behind the voice. "My name is John Smith. I'm in the book" The caller, (voiced by Norman Rose, whose voice over work has graced everything from cartoons to Woody Allen films; he was the announcer in Radio Days and only appears onscreen wearing a pig mask) is a little harder to find than Alice expects and along the way she meets the strange and the depraved of the New York scene, including a porn actor looking for his comeback (the brilliant Barry Morse, pre-Space 1999), a psychoanalyst (Roger C. Carmel, who also had an extensive TV career including voicing several of the Transformers) who offers dimes, dispensed suggestively from his coin changer, in exchange for stories, and when she is mugged, she is offered the use of a phone by a lesbian who attacks her with vibrators.

Not only that, there's appearances by Jill Clayburgh, Lucy Lee Flippin (Little House on the Prairie) who has one of the best, apparently ad-libbed, lines involving the unique use of a banana and William Hickey (the old Mafia Don in Prizzi's Honor) as a man who wakes with an erection that won't go down. There's also Arthur Haggerty (better known as dog trainer Captain Haggerty, and even better known to genre fans as the fat bald zombie on the boat at the beginning of Fulci's Zombie Flesh Eaters) as a district attorney giving a press conference about the perils of obscene phone calls. 

Surprisingly, the film is not overly erotic, (despite their being plenty of flesh on display) but rather arty, and bursts from black and white to colour for the last ten minutes with the inclusion of some Robert Crumb style animation by Len Glasser. It was this animation that gained the film its X rating when it was released in 1971. The humour of the film is not as broad as the standard sex comedy, but there's plenty to enjoy. 

                       

Once Mr Smith is actually on the scene in his pig mask mid way through it does become a little talky but the frantic editing and bizarre situation keeps the interest. Sarah Kennedy, (not to be confused with the British one who appeared on Game For A Laugh)  is a delight to watch and very likable, and went on to be a regular on Rowan & Martin's Laugh In and appeared with a young Cassandra Peterson (Elvira) in The Working Girls (1974). 

The film struggled to get a distribution deal at first, being turned down by Hugh Heffner and all the major studios until it was picked up by Avco Embassy, who in a display of cold feet, put the film out under a false company name, Rosebud Releasing Corporation (the same name used to later distribute the unrated version of Evil Dead 2!)

Director Nelson Lyon would go on to be a writer for Saturday Night Live, and would end up being blacklisted from the industry for his involvement in the massive drug binge that killed John Belushi. 

The disc contains an interesting, if a little off topic at times, commentary by producer Mervin Bloch, who also worked cutting trailers for some major films like Polanki's The Tenant and the Pacino movie Cruising. 

If Vinegar Syndrome keep unearthing these 'lost' classics, our shelves will soon look like a massive homage to 42nd Street (well, even more than they do already). Keep them coming, is what I say. The Telephone Book is far from mainstream and that alone is a good enough reason to seek it out. The Blu-ray is region free, and it comes with a DVD copy too and looks better than a film this rare ever should. 

 

If you like your sleaze to be a touch arty without being too pretentious , you should not hang up on this one. 

7 out of 10

Photo post: Some 3D images (grab your glasses!)

It's been a while since I posted any of my own photography on here, so I thought I'd remedy that with some of my attempts at stereoscopy. The images should be viewed with old school red and cyan (or blue) glasses, but I've included a couple of images in side by side format too. This way of viewing allows for better stereo viewing, providing you can train your eyes to see the image. I've kept these images smaller as I've found it's easier to see the effect. Enjoy, and feedback welcome.

This is a custom Subbuteo player made by the legendary Frank Sidebottom. 

 Some side by side versions:

To view these, relax your eyes until you see the stereo image appear as a third, centre image.

(images are copyright Martin Unsworth and may also appear on my Deviantart page)

Spiderhole (2010)

A group of four art students decide they are going to live the complete bohemian lifestyle and find a squat in London. Free housing, no ties.. plenty of drugs and party is the plan.  The four, Molly (Emma Griffiths Malin), Luke (Reuben-Henry Biggs), Zoe (Amy Nolan) and Toby (George Maguire) seem your typical student types, high ideals and low morals.
When they break into a big old house they think they have it made. Toby is the 'brains' behind the move, and sets about securing the house for themselves, before the group settle down for the night amongst the creaking floor boards and spider webs. When they awake Molly feels ill, and the group feel like they've been asleep for hours, but since they see no light from outside (the place is still boarded up) they assume it's still early. When, however, they come to check the doors, they find they have been secured by steel shutters and they have no way out! The windows are similarly blocked. Add to this all their mobile phones and tools have gone missing, and they naturally begin to panic.

What starts as a haunted house type story (or at least I hoped it would be) soon turns into "Hostel" torture porn territory, as each of the rather obnoxious crew go missing. The antagonist (John E Regan) even has a slight Tobin Bell look at times - or was that just me? 
The problem I had with the film really was the students. They deserved everything they got. I've never approved of this free loading squatters rights type attitude, if it's out of necessity it may be understandable, but to deliberately do it is unforgivable. I won't go and get on my soapbox about it, though. The reasons for they things happening are not gone into enough too, you have to be a quick reader with good eyes to get it, but with a short (a little over 80mins) running time I guess small details got left out.
On the plus side, the acting isn't too bad (it's not the actors fault the students are so annoying) and the sound design is brilliant. There's a brilliant moody bass rumble throughout and the film isn't marred by being full of "trendy" music. In fact the end credits run over an original folk song by Sophie Coyle, so well done for that!
Considering that it's the first feature by writer/director Daniel Simpson, it's well made, fairly well paced, and watchable. Certainly worth a look and better than the low budget shot on video stuff coming out of the States.
5 out of 10.

Highgate Cemetery part four

OK, I think this will be the last of my Highgate posts for now, so rather than waffle about things, I'll let the pictures tell the story, with just a few pointers here and there on content. Enjoy.

 "The Empty Chair" this is a grave of a small child. Symbolism is a big thing in Victorian burials.

 Here's a close up of Elizabeth Siddal's stone at the Rossetti grave, seen in my last post.

 The entrance to the Egyptian Avenue, which leads to the Circle Of Lebanon. This is one of the more iconic images from the cemetery, and has been seen in many movies, most recently the remake of "Dorian Gray"

Symbolism: a down turned torch, a symbol of life extinguished.

Part of the Circle of Lebanon, above the mausoleum of Carl Rosa, credited to bringing English language opera to the country. Below is an instantly recognisable sight for film buffs, the stone circle of mausoleums have been seen in many a horror film, and again, "Dorian Gray"

This is the wonderful cedar of Lebanon tree which has stood in the cemetery grounds for hundreds of years, and lends its name to the circle of mausoleums built around it.
Now, to some examples from the East side. I have taken thousands of photographs here, and no doubt there will be thousands more waiting to be taken. But, for now, I'll just share a few...

The Grade 1 listed tomb for Karl Marx, probably the reason most tourists visit the cemetery. But not many know this isn't actually where he was originally buried. His original grave is several feet away in the middle of the tree lined grave section. His remains were moved to a more prominent place and the famous tombstone was only built in 1954, many years after his death in 1883. This part of the cemetery features a lot of graves of the political active and many communist. Paul Foot, the socialist journalist and campaigner (and nephew of the former Labour leader Michael Foot) is buried almost opposite Marx's memorial.

The cemetery is full of little quirky memorials too.. this little cat is hidden away behind other stones.

Above, the grave of Richard "Stoney" Smith, the inventor of Hovis bread. No jokes please about him being 'brown bread' ahem....

You should really click the photo below and read the inscription in full size. It's a great example of a modern loving tribute. A list of the man's faults, and likes and dislikes. If I didn't see this in the cemetery myself, I'd have thought it was made up and doctored.

I think that's about it for now. I hope someone, somewhere finds this interesting. And, before anyone starts thinking of the "Highgate Vampire" stories from the 70s which made the cemetery notorious, those subjects have been covered elsewhere and by people who believe them. While I love horror films, stories and vampires, they are not real kids....