Retro review: The Secret of the Loch (1934)

Now here's a little rare curiosity. In the early 30s the opening of a new road past Loch Ness brought lots of passing traffic to this once quiet (and no doubt idyllic) are of Scotland. It's also around this time the famous "surgeon's photo" of Nessie, the beast believed to live in the loch, appeared. So, hot on the heels of this, and the recently released hit King Kong (1933) came this, the very first Loch Ness Monster movie!
The film opens with a terrified Scot running into the local ale house "Boys! Boys! 'Av seen it! It's no a sight for mortal eyes!" All the locals, including a very manic Professor Heggie (Seymour Hicks) believe there's something out in the loch, and all accept it. Until newspapers appear, from that London, with headlines of "mass hallucination" and "something from hell itself" Heggie decides to go to meet with his academic equals and put his case forward that there is prehistoric beastie in the depths of the loch.

The meeting is attended by a motley crew of strange looking eggheads with their loose teeth rattled when Heggie proclaims that he will prove the existence of a living dinosaur. He is rail roaded out of the meeting, but not without drawing the attention of a reporter from the Daily Sun, Jimmy Andrews (Frederick Andrews) who, smelling a story, follows the professor back north, with a request from one of the workers in his news room to "find out what they wear under their kilts!"  When he gets there, he finds he's not alone, all of Fleet Street's 'finest' have set up camp in the local inn, all after the exclusive on the mad professor and his monster. Jimmy decides to go the extra mile, and breaks into the professor's house. You see, the modern hacks (ahem) haven't invented underhand and criminal activity! When he finds himself in the bedroom of Angela (Nancy O' Neal), Heggie's granddaughter, rather than call the police or indeed, shoot him, he manages to sweet talk her into trusting him to get close to the old professor.

He also gets close to Heggie's burly helper, Angus (Gibson Gowland - a familiar face from some of the Universal Monster films), due to his wearing of a McKnockie tartan tie (he borrowed it from a girl in the office!) and over a few drams - "What's this whisky distilled from? Pepper?" Angus agrees also to try and help Jimmy get his story, since he is convinced that the professor is right about the monster.

This really isn't a horror film, or a drama or thriller. It's more comedy, and for it's age a quite good one, there's plenty of sight gags and quips to keep you smiling. Until the final 10 minutes underwater, and with the "monster" - it's no spoiler really to tell you it's just an iguana back projected onto footage of what looks like one of those little divers you put in your fish tank. But, never the less, it's enjoyable and a great example of British film making from the 'good old days' There was a time when you could find films like this on TV schedules all the time. Usually in the mid-week afternoon slot, or Saturday afternoon on BBC2 while Grandstand was on the other side. All we have now is idiots competing to see who can cook the ponciest meal or sell off their tat on a car boot sale. Oh well.... now, where's my troosers....
5 out of 10

Spoiler Alert!!! the monster in all it's glory.....

Retro review: Captain Clegg (1962)

It's 1176, on a remote desert island a pirate ship leaves a man tied to a stake, his ears slit and his tongue cut out. A sign above his head reads "thus perish all who betray Captain Clegg"

After the credits, we move to 1792, and the area of Dymchurch on the Romney Marshes, over looking the seas to France, where many smugglers bring their bounty of wine and brandy to out-wit the hefty taxation laws. A little like nipping over to Dover on the weekend ferries, then. There is something more to fear in this area though, as many have told of the Marsh Phantoms who strike fear into those unfortunate enough to see them. Dymchurch is also the last resting place of the notorious pirate Captain Clegg, whose grave states he was hanged at Rye.

Old Tom Ketch

Our introduction to the village is a startling one, Old Tom Ketch (Sydney Bromley, a familiar face - he was one of the tramps slaughtered in An American Werewolf In London), a local is out on the moors when he suddenly surrounded by some hideous spectres on skeletal horseback. Terrified, he falls into a lake and drowns.

The following day, while the village preacher, Reverend Dr Blyss (Peter Cushing, perfect as always) is giving his sermon, the men of the Royal Crown are marching into town to check on reports of smuggling, and fiddling the King out of the taxes! (oh how times haven't changed, eh?) Led by Captain Collier (Patrick Allen, owner of one of the most famous voices in the UK) and backed up by a Navy boss (David Lodge, another familiar face from UK comedies) they set about searching the local tavern ran by Mr Rash (Martin Benson) and then the ever busy coffin makers, Jeremiah Mipps (played by the ever reliable Michael Ripper, and in role much bigger than he usually had). The men fail to find any trace of illicit wine or brandy, even when using their prototype sniffer dog, in the shape of the Mulatto* (Milton Reid, a brilliant character actor who would later appear in Bond films and genre wise he was in The Blood On Satan's Claw and Dr Phibes Rises Again), the stocky bald man seen left to die in the pre-credits sequence. It seems he was rescued by Collier and his men as they were on Clegg's trail, and has been used by them since, as a way of finding hidden wine, and a source of amusement later for the horrendous soldiers.

What they failed to find was a maze of connecting corridors and tunnels that covered up that the villagers, were in fact, smuggling and funding the poor of the village with the proceeds. The Rev Bliss being in charge of the whole operation. A minor sub plot involving the ward of Rash, Imogene (Yvonne Romain) and Harry, the local hunk (Oliver Reed) serves its purpose but to go into detail would probably reveal too much of the plot.
The film was released in America as "Night Creatures" (and it is this title that is on the DVD release) because apparently that was the name of the film Hammer had sold to the US distributor (they had planned to make a version of Richard Matherson's I Am Legend - later filmed as The Last Man On Earth, and The Omega Man - but the UK censors promised that it would have been banned) So, they took the Russell Thorndike story of Dr Syn and the Scarecrow of Romney Marsh and made the film. The Syn character was changed to Blyss since Disney were making their own version of the story (which is why it might sound familiar).
The story is fairly predictable, but still a whole load of fun and the acting is first class all round, remember this is long before Oliver Reed had turned into a caricature. Cushing is at his best as the Vicar hiding a secret with a wicked grin, and Ripper excels in his expanded role. The film is a brilliant rip-roaring adventure with a few spooky and atmospheric moments with the phantoms on the marsh and the creepy scarecrow but it's not technically horror. Even bearing that it mind it's a brilliant movie and one well worth checking out!

Martin Benson, the legendary Michael Ripper and Patrick Allen

The DVD looks fantastic and the colours are stunning, far better than you'd expect for its age, and certainly better than than the last time I saw it on TV from what I recall. A mention must be made too for the brilliant score by Don Banks, giving the legendary James Bernard a run for his money.
8 out of 10.

 

(* A Mulatto is a term used to describe the offspring of mixed race coupling in the bad old slave days, not a particularly nice expression, but it is how the character is named in the book and film, so I left it. No offence was meant or intended)

Highgate Cemetery part four

OK, I think this will be the last of my Highgate posts for now, so rather than waffle about things, I'll let the pictures tell the story, with just a few pointers here and there on content. Enjoy.

 "The Empty Chair" this is a grave of a small child. Symbolism is a big thing in Victorian burials.

 Here's a close up of Elizabeth Siddal's stone at the Rossetti grave, seen in my last post.

 The entrance to the Egyptian Avenue, which leads to the Circle Of Lebanon. This is one of the more iconic images from the cemetery, and has been seen in many movies, most recently the remake of "Dorian Gray"

Symbolism: a down turned torch, a symbol of life extinguished.

Part of the Circle of Lebanon, above the mausoleum of Carl Rosa, credited to bringing English language opera to the country. Below is an instantly recognisable sight for film buffs, the stone circle of mausoleums have been seen in many a horror film, and again, "Dorian Gray"

This is the wonderful cedar of Lebanon tree which has stood in the cemetery grounds for hundreds of years, and lends its name to the circle of mausoleums built around it.
Now, to some examples from the East side. I have taken thousands of photographs here, and no doubt there will be thousands more waiting to be taken. But, for now, I'll just share a few...

The Grade 1 listed tomb for Karl Marx, probably the reason most tourists visit the cemetery. But not many know this isn't actually where he was originally buried. His original grave is several feet away in the middle of the tree lined grave section. His remains were moved to a more prominent place and the famous tombstone was only built in 1954, many years after his death in 1883. This part of the cemetery features a lot of graves of the political active and many communist. Paul Foot, the socialist journalist and campaigner (and nephew of the former Labour leader Michael Foot) is buried almost opposite Marx's memorial.

The cemetery is full of little quirky memorials too.. this little cat is hidden away behind other stones.

Above, the grave of Richard "Stoney" Smith, the inventor of Hovis bread. No jokes please about him being 'brown bread' ahem....

You should really click the photo below and read the inscription in full size. It's a great example of a modern loving tribute. A list of the man's faults, and likes and dislikes. If I didn't see this in the cemetery myself, I'd have thought it was made up and doctored.

I think that's about it for now. I hope someone, somewhere finds this interesting. And, before anyone starts thinking of the "Highgate Vampire" stories from the 70s which made the cemetery notorious, those subjects have been covered elsewhere and by people who believe them. While I love horror films, stories and vampires, they are not real kids....

Highgate Cemetery part three

So here's another batch of headstones from the wonderful Highgate Cemetery.
This time I'm going to move my atttention to the older, West side, all the previous ones were in the East side, which after you've paid your entry fee (again, this goes to the charity that runs the cemetery for upkeep, etc.. so really is worth while) you are free to roam around and spend as much time as you like enjoying the surroundings. The West side, however is accessible only by guided tour. These are well worth it though and if you get a good guide (and there are many) you will learn a lot and have a great time.  Now to some notables...

Michael Faraday, one of the pioneers of science and electricity. He is buried in a part of cemetery used for "dissenters" (Non-Anglican) and its not normally part of the regular tour, but if you ask you might get lucky and get to see it. You may get the same luck to see my next grave, another not on the normal route, but this time because its in an area of the cemetery that is still rather overgrown and there is no safe path for many visitors. 

This is the grave of the Rossettis.Well, to be exact it is Christina (the poet), and her mother, Frances Polidori and brother William Michael. Dante Gabriel, no doubt the most famous Rossetti is buried elsewhere (Birchington on Sea in Kent to be exact) Also in this grave is Dante's wife and model, Elizabeth Eleanor Siddal. The famous story is that when she died Dante buried a book of his unpublished poems in with her body, only to want them back a few years later when his fame was on the wane, and had the coffin exhumed to retrieve the book. The story goes that Elizabeth's famous red hair had continued to grow and almost filled the coffin and her beauty was untouched. The book of poems still failed to ignite much interest afterwards for him though. To me, this grave really needs to be put onto the regular tour, but having managed to get to see it, I can see why they wouldn't want to. You have to walk over several graves to get to it. But it's still one of the most important and indeed, famous graves in the cemetery.

Above is not really a famous person, but it is of note because it's the grave of George Michael's mother. He apparently tends the grave regularly, when not falling asleep at the wheel of his car, or getting locked up for being off his face somewhere.

This is the grave of the former Russian dissident, KGB member and later a British citizen, who was poisoned, by, allegedly, the Russian Secret Service. Such was the extent of his radioactive poisoning, apparently the grave is dug extra deep and the coffin heavily lead lined. The photo on the grave being a Russian custom.

Still more to come, I think I will move on to the interesting and beautiful angels and memorials that fill this wonderful cemetery.

Highgate Cemetery part two

Continuing my look at some of the wonderful graves at Highgate Cemetery. Again, I'm going to highlight some of the notable names buried there, and then I'll move on to some of the beautiful angels and monuments.

Here's the grave some people wanted to see during the 80's ... Jeremy Beadles. It was actually quite a shame when he died, because no matter how annoying he could be, he did produce some entertaining TV, unlike what we have to put up with today. His stone says "writer, presenter, curator of oddities.... ask my friends"

This is the temporary place marker for the grave of Malcolm McClaren, the manager of the Sex Pistols, and musician in his own right. This was originally used on one of the trucks that followed his coffin through Camden onto Highgate for his his funeral. Each time I go back, its in a further state of decomposition.. maybe symbolic? I'm hoping that when it comes to putting up a proper headstone (the ground has to settle for about a year before a full stone can be placed) it will be just as striking and bold. I think he would have wanted that.
McClaren's always loved Highgate and indeed used the West part of the cemetery in "The Great Rock n' Roll Swindle" film, where he is seen singing "You Need Hands" amongst the tombs of the Circle of Lebanan. And further down Swain's Lane (the small road that separates the two sides of the cemetery) there is a another building used as his home in the film, and indeed the "MM" Warner Brothers type logo was seen above the gates of the building in the film.

Now this is an interesting one, and certainly not one that would be well known. It is the grave of Issachar Zacharie, who, apart from being high up in the British Masons, was chiropodist to Abraham Lincoln!

and finally, for now, the grave of pop artist Patrick Caulfield. As you can see, even in death some people like to stand out from the crowd

More to be seen soon!!